Saturday, April 28, 2007

Flat warming

its officially over, wat a nite
to recap,

Tyson - after the departure of his missus resigned himself to drink away his loss, leading to his dark side being unleashed, last seen ravaging a kfc coupon.

Al - with his scoring mission thwarted, although his cocktail of downers was most at fault, he turned his attention to chronic liver abuse

Kate - *cough*vomited*cough* but a stunner effort, the last standing flatmate.

Amy - totally and completely gone, her nite was pretty much over b4 it began.

James - wandering onto the pda couch lead to a mean as nite

Friday, April 27, 2007


as tyson and i just finished a week of the 300 program 3 important facts that gud ppl of gym jones neglected to mention have become apparent.

- protein powder and yogurt in a 1:1 ratio makes an inedible yet useful glue

- eating protein powder straight is an even easier to prepare type of glue

- protein powder can create a variation on glue with almost any ingredient

Flat Warming --- 2 nite

Whoa flat warming 2nite and the important provision of alcohol for the purposes of wonton reckless imbibing has been well underway for days now. Al, without rest, has been brewing and distilling forth's finest elixar and, courtesy of knox, a punch worthy of the event has been chosen

Knoxie Knockout
per 25L
6L vodka
1 bottle wine
1 bottle sparkling
1L strong tea
5L lemonade
5L soda water
umm some other stuff i think

needless to say the 50L of punch will be enough to fortify us to complete our proposed plans for the night (which all seem to involve scoring, although with drastically different motives and aims, from the girl wanting to see double(i really shuldnt need to point out which of the girls has this aim) to the noble (scoring a non-kc's girl - albeit his lack of i.d. is the main factor in that one it's noble nonetheless)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

And now something from James

Funny James that you couldn't remember any of my famous quotes. Well I do remember one of your's...

"Yeah, I don't know why she's not attractive to me, it's just something about her nose."

Too bad you didn't know she was jewish descent. Smart one moron.

whoa - this blog kinda died

now that we dont hav a quote board ill stick one of tysons classic quips up here

Miss Alabama, 1994 Miss USA Pageant:
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

wat a muppet

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Somalia -

2006 Civil War

i didnt get into a fight al, if there is one thing a james knows it's that violence results in two things, great injustices (like scarface backstabbing mufasa) or james lying sprawled in a bush after trying to tackle wilson in a failed wingman maneuverer. we merely had a discussion on American foreign policy, with me in a state of very confused stupor, which led to me simply saying the opposite of him, i think..... i mean i remember saying maybe it wasnt the americans that screwed up somalia, maybe it was the men in black. i remember thinking how smart that was, but that may of come after he dropped me off, its a bit blurry. but i did find some possibly wildly inaccurate, not really validating evidence for him...

(from wikipedia)

The Islamists accused the U.S. of funding the warlords through the Central Intelligence Agency in an effort to prevent the Islamists gaining power. The U.S. State Department, while neither admitting nor denying this, said the U.S. had taken no action that violated the international arms embargo of Somalia. A few e-mails describing covert illegal operations by private military companies in breach of UN regulations have been reported[4] by the UK Sunday newspaper The Observer. The U.N. maintains an arms embargo on Somalia, and some have alleged that the U.S. broke international law by supplying the Mogadishu warlords.

We got a pot

lol, al scored us a le creuset pan, like half way tween a skillet and a saute pan for the flat, for free. The pan is from now on to be referred to as "my precious" and is as important to the flat as six tysons. secondly when a mouse is being culled with C02 it bobs its head back and forth b4 it falls asleep, if basketcase by green day happens to be on repeat(23x before i was deposed as itunes overlord) at the same time as u turn on the gas the bobs are at the exact same beat as the song, it's so creepy you actually get the weird tingly feeling on the back of ur neck. had 2 share that revelation, it still scares me. yay -cumin down in a few days, gutted i still havnt convinced my parents tysons gay, one day man, one day.

Monday, February 12, 2007

James' big night out

James hasn't explained what he got up to on Saturday.

Sequence of events:
- G&Ts at my place. He can't keep up with the pace. Then like 8 people show up. Apparently it was an unofficial meeting place.
- beers on the way to Prebbleman's and while there. Ends up only drinking about 6 because he gives heaps away.
- about a bottle of stolen wine from people's wine bottles in the kitchen -probably fresher girls that if they had finished them may have been drunk enough to hook up with him.
- olive oil from the bottle. No freshers would join him on this no matter how hard he tried.
- then for some reason I tied him to the kitchen tap, which he pulled off. Luckily it just pushed back in (I hope). Prebbleman didn't see anyway.
- then there was this dukebox and a danceparty in the living room and James tried to dance with me so I punched him in the chest and I think he may have knocked himself out on the bookshelff on his way to the ground. He was conscious again in a few seconds though.
- then we tried to leave but Lucy was being difficult so James waited on the street by himself with some fresher's half finished 12-pack. Finally, when we decided to leave without Greg and Lucy and just meet them in town, there were only two beers left.
- when we got to town, no one would let him in to bars. So we got a kebab. Which he unwrapped completely and it went everywhere.
- continuing with the cause as much mess as possible, he then chucked his guts all over the footpath at the bus stop.
- luckily a bus soon came, but James was too hammered to even walk to the bus, so I put him in a cab. I then left, after assuring the taxi driver that he had thrown up all he could.
- James somehow got into a fight with this somalian taxi driver and now has a scrape on his head and a bite mark. In the morning he found his pants outside on the street along with the cellphone of some fresher.


Friday, February 09, 2007

Dear Kate

Dear Kate,

Your underwear fits me exceptionally.

Love Tyson

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Zee German

Well I have a sad confession to make. Her name is Sebina and she is the first German I have actually liked. Now I don't have anyone to be racist against... life suddenly seems so much more empty. She's a backpacker and rode with me on the bus up to Whangarei where me and my dad gave her a ride up to Tutukaka. We let her stay the night and made her dinner and then went out a bit the next day. She just finished dentistry in Germany and is now traveling around New Zealand until August. I told her if she came down to Dunedin to send me an e-mail and she could stay with us.

P.S. I think she was alright because she was from eastern Germany. Fucking westerners. I fucking hate west germans...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Stealing shit

Although I saddens me to make a post considering that this now means the Pink Pearls again has more posts on it than Greg and Al's Excellent Adventure (although this is still winning number-of-hits wise), I'd prefer it was me that made the post that surpassed my other blog rather than some woman, a foreigner or a darkie. Anyway, there may be the possibilty to steal some stuff in that my 7th form form teacher who left soon into the year to become Deputy at Queen Margeret's husband's mother died and her house is being split up between my brother's flat (they got in first and have taken most stuff), another col flat (they seem to have yaken most of the rest) and whatever is left we can probably have. I'm not sure what there is but if people could put some stuff in the comments that me might want or if James wants to come too because I can't really take the stuff with me in the plane anyway so he'd have to stash it in his mum's car. Yeah. Dig it.

-is it possible our parents are making a secret network to control us because my mum was talking to James' mum today and that's only ever happened once before when we were dumping Tyson on her.
-did tyson get dreads?
-where is amy these days?
-how black is James now considering he was sunbathing the other day
-is kate planning on leaving her bastard samoan children in the Studholme garden because that's what you do with polynesian babies in dunedin?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Public Holidays

Apparently tommorow is Waitangi Day but I won't be partaking in the festivities. I've decided that enough is enough and it's time for people like us to take a stand. Waitangi Day is one of those bullshit holidays that falls during the University holidays so we don't even get a day off class. Fuck that. I have no respect for a public holiday that doesn't get me out of doing stuff. So tommorow I will be acting like there is no Waitangi day by doing what I would normally be doing otherwise -in other words nothing. I encourage other people to take a stand and follow my example.

I shall also be buoycotting Otago Anniversary Day and Labour Weekend -two more of such bullshit pseudo-holidays. Easter is still fine because we get Good Friday off at the end of term 1 and so is Christmas because it is the reason for the 4 month summer holiday.

Lousy honkies can't even rip off the Maori during our term time...

Sunday, February 04, 2007

why wellington benders are bad - an equation

wellington bender = 2x jerry collins ($30) + a matterhorn long island ice tea ($100)+ flaming lambourgini ($16) + dress codes(grrr dress codes) = one huuugely painful morning after bank balance induced hangover even though you only got tipsy

dunedin bender = one ranfurly 20 pack ($20) + a smattering of $3 drinks + a couple of chargers (from tim's candy stash) = 2 huge drunk as fuck nights on the change in your wallet ....... and almost sex by proxy, JUST BY PROXY MAN!!!

thus i have shown mathmatically without a doubt wellington sucks for benders. And Al is right, vic students are girly, any place it's normal to end the night drinking coffee in havana, fidels or any place where che's image is used as a marketing tool is just not scarf. it's anti scarf. and benders are the bread n butter of scarfdom, the beloved institution of crate days, hermits and blackouts are a south island thing, northerners, like aucklanders, like it in the batty.


I love looking at schools and stuff on Wikipedia to see what people have tried to sneak themselves in to the articles. I guess that Josh must have visited the Knox College article recently...

Saturday, February 03, 2007


I only just realised that the character Bender in Futurama, being a robot, requires alcohol to function so is effectively on a permanent bender. This epiphany, like a cacophany within me (I should so be a rapper), has made me want to drink.

Drink. Drinking? Good idea. But my Wellington friends are to girly man because they have work tommorow.

I think we should have a bender when we get back. Tyson, you do the brew (honestly man, rap is where I is at) and then when I'm back we can distill and then we can bend it like Bender from just before James' mum gets there with him so we can show what responsible tenants we will be.

Friday, February 02, 2007


hey ppls, what u guys bringing down. i raided the cupboard and "borrowed"
a pot,
a pimpin 80's rice cooker in pale beige
popcorn maker,
half a mondolin(the holder bit) - not sure bout da use of dis one
bunch of stirrer spoons and spatulated flippers
sum spices -
and there is Georgie Formen plus a bowl dat b orange.
i also got a very loved charcol bbq, charcol and wood chips dat i brought wen drunk - do u guys reckon i shuld bring it -
plus like stock food from my parents pantry and stuff i reckon ill make a break for on the day i leave so itil b 2 late by the time im on the ferry
we prob need pots and bowls and stuff used to cook wif - i scored heaps of shit wen i made dad go to kirks kitchen shop - i especially recommend it if you wanna get them 2 buy new shit so u can score the old stuff.
p.s. t dog r u gettin a slow cooker, a blender too would b sweet. may b able to wrangle one if sum one gets the other.

the head, amazing

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Power Bill

Hey guys after trying to set the power up last nite had to sit mum down today and explain to her that power was a nicety, not a need, and that it would b best to deal with such "nicetys" in a far more romantic spur of the moment manner, espicially wen i wuld much rather fall asleep on the deck. now my mum thinks im on drugs and, to the flats benefit, has underwritten the power bill. this means that if we don't pay at the post office it automaticly gets paid by her - but we get the physical bill - ie itill come on on the 8th of feb for tyson and if we dont actively go and pay we'll get a letter saying it has been passed on to mum and we can either individually pay her over internet or you can pay me. choice. pay me. yay.

oh - no bond either - im not really sure why but the power lady assured me that we wuldnt have to put up a bond - i think cuz its linked to mum if we fault.

umm ill do internet sum time - these telephone ladies, wif their exotic accents and phat'n'crackly call waiting beats, its all a bit much to do it again so soon. we also got to decide as a group what plan we want. so like 10 gig plan etc. email me wif what u want. chur.


Option 1: The Pink Pearls
Option 2: The Planeteers (or something along those lines)
Option 3: Other

Members of the flat have exactly one week from the time of this post to register their vote as a comment on this post.

To cast a legitimate vote that will be counted towards the final talley, the posted comment:
- may only contain the option and description e.g. Option 3: Other Anything else added to the comment will make the vote void.
- you may only vote once. In the event of a person voting multiple times, the first vote will count. So choose carefully.
- only flat members can vote. Greg, Jamie, Tim and other people who may consider attempting to vote should not bother.
- we are operating a FPP system so once an option has received 3 of the votes (a majority) the winner will be declared.
- no posting comments on this post that are not votes. Political banter and discussion of this proposal must be undertaken on the main website as a new post. Anyone posting anything other than a vote in the comments section will be denied eligibility to vote on the grounds of being a dumbass.

Let the voting begin.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Screw the Pink Pearls, I think we should change the flat to the Planeteers and have it all Captain Planety.

There were five Planeteers in the original cartoon, and five of us. There are also two girls and three guys, just like us. Are you all seeing a pattern? This is too much to be just a coincidence, unless it's some crazy shit out of the X-Files...

The original Planeteers were as follows:
- Gi (water)
- Kwame (earth)
- Linke (wind)
- Ma-ti (heart)
- Wheeler (fire)

Perhaps we could be the Scarfieteers:
- Tyson (filth)
- Kate (study) -the weakest of the powers, like heart
- James (booze)
- Al (ego)
- Amy (slut)
By your powers combined, I am Captain Scarfie!

Monday, January 29, 2007

A word of warning

If in kitty's that menu on the back wall, the one to the right of the shooter list - it's not shooters. no matter how excited you get they wont make you bacon shooters. bastards. baltic porter is better then kilkenny. muhaha i can brake brake ppls hearts too(p.s. still luv u jj's).

Sunday, January 28, 2007


+ I arrive on the 13th.

+ Has someone organised power/flat account/phone/internet yet? James' mum's email back in December said he would do it... Hint hint.

+ James are you coming to Wellington BBQ on the 10th at Prebbleman's? Wanna meet up first and get more wasted?

+ When should we have our flatwarming? I invited my brother down for it because the other night I got destroyed at his...

+ Flat orgy on the 14th for Valentine's day?

+ I declare my room a self-governing autonomous region of the flat, abiding only by the flat constitution and no other flat rules.

That's all I wanted to say people.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Al must be back

Saw the meanest thing last nite, some home sick scarfie lit a couch fire down that alley beside hope bros. Al you might as well fess up. Scarf.

Monday, January 22, 2007

I love machines - if only they wuld cuddle

i actually saw 3 of these in britain but this was my favourite (the other two were in the "varsity" chain of bars which are like mcdonalds for bars, with tvr jugs in replace of boss burgers) soo fricking weird, quite why i guy would want to buy a vibrator in a mens toilet i just cant work out. - i bet most of the sales go to the jamies of the world looking for a variation on god save the queen. Although it does mean you can get your flatmates their birthday presents, take a leak and buy a warm bitter. Thats true retail therapy.
Sex toys aside 3 sisters is the best bar in the world. If in edinburgh you gotta go down to cowgate(its just off the royal mile) and check out scottish student bars, the're wicked quality. 3 sisters even had bacardi on tap. ive only seen that one time b4, but it was fejoia vodka on tap, mandy moore was the barmaid and i was dreaming.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I want hot showers!

I've had my first hot shower in two weeks today. It was fantastic. Especially after spending nearly 5 hours blazing up and down a mountain with no trail in the rain! And for reasons I won't explain here I'm now bra and underwear less in a lavalava... good times!
Anyway on the subject of showers, could someone in NZ before the 12th of Feb pretty please set up a power account for the flat? Don't know what we're doing about a bank account either... I promise to control Tyson's naked rampaging if you do! Hope everyone's having a fantastic holiday, whereever you are in the world