Best cocktail ever!!!

Jellied cube of gin and tonic on crisp lime slice

This is good, really good. -and the meanest cocktail to pull out

1 frozen lime - fuck this bit, i just cut it with a knife
2 oz. simple syrup - i guessed they meant sugar syrup
1 1⁄4 tsp. citric acid
1⁄4 tsp. bicarbonate of soda
1⁄4 tsp. confectioner's sugar
1 1⁄2 sheets of sheet gelatin - i used agar powder
1 oz. gin
2 oz. tonic water
Freeze lime and cut into chips with deli slicer. Coat slices in simple syrup and 1 tsp. citric acid; bake at 150 degrees until crisp. Mix bicarbonate of soda, sugar, and remaining citric acid. Soften sheet gelatin in cold water for two minutes. Warm gin and add gelatin. Pour into a shallow baking pan lined with plastic wrap, add tonic, and refrigerate for two hours. Cut into 1⁄2-inch cubes. Put cube onto lime chip, sprinkle on sugar-soda-acid mixture , serve.

it feels really weird and tastes fizzy cause of the powder, amazingly good.
two other ones i tried from from Heston Bulmenthal were caviar on white chocolate, which was good but a freakin waste of money and stawberry with coriander. Mean.

Working at uni

(work = money) and (money = beer) and (beer = fun.) These simple equations led me to believe i need a job. What job you may ask, lab work i say. No shit i cannot tell you how awsome a summer project is. For start the hours. I worked for an hour today, and ive got 3 days off for incubation. Then i got about an hour again. Its a hard life. Second - lump sum payments. They pay you in one amazing town bender payment. I mean its almost as if they're paying you in Matterhorn blow out dollars.

on 2nd thought i think my equations also say that (work = fun) which is not always accurate but it does also suggest (work = beer) so maybe i am on to something.

Shoes

I just bought some shoes from some shop in town. This shop had a bit of a cowboy theme going on... The guy behind the counter was kind of camp... He gave me 25% off for no reason at all...

Are these shoes going to infect me with the gay?

Iraq: Mission Accomplished.

Finally America must have got sick of this Iraq bullshit because they have brought in their own weapon of mass destruction. Chuck Norris, mate.

Check out these photos of his whirlwind tour:





This is no joke. I actually found these on a proper news website. Iraq is fucked. Chuck Norris, mate. Chuck fucking Norris.

Guidelines for a Platonic Friendship

While I was "surfing" the web (looks like I've finally caught up with 90s lingo) I came across a set of Guidelines for Platonic Friendship. While it may have been written by a guy who seems to want to sleep with all his female friends and is all emo that they won't sleep with him, it did get me thinking that maybe some of these rules could be implemented in our group of friends -particularly the "punish by instant sex" bit. Anyway, I've decided to rewrite them (the original is in italics) because guys outnumber girls in the flat so we get to decide everything, bitch:

1. No hugging for greetings or salutations. Hugging is only allowed for personal tragedies or blessed events when the emotional significance of the situation blocks out the knowledge that your boobies are pressing against me. We have hands; lets shake them.
Hugs are given with full knowledge that there is boobie against body. We're okay with this if you are. Bring on the boobies. Yeah!

2. No sleepovers. I think of all women who sleep in bed with me as potential sex partners. I spend all my free time trying to coax women in, so if you get in there, I can’t help but think you want some. If you or I need a place to crash sometime, then we should employ a couch. The breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex.
If you actually sleep the night in someone's bed then that's just asking for sex -instant sex.

3. No seat sharing. When girls sit on the arm of my chair or in my lap or next to me in a one-person seat, it makes me think that she wants some sexing. A possible exception is fitting an extra person in a car that is filled to capacity. I can’t let my passion hurt the quest to maximize a designated driver, but be warned; it might not be the seat belt poking you.
Sitting on the floor may give you haemarhoids, so seat sharing is okay if you understand that 'it' has a mind of its own and you still may end up with a bleeding anus (because haemarhoids make it bleed too. See what I did there?)

4. No flirting. So if you laugh at a joke of mine, it better be a funny joke.
This rule is completely irrelevant for me because I'm actually funny always. But flirting probably is bad and could lead to instant sex as punishment.

5. No judgment making on any girl that I see. Good or bad, it’s the guy friends' job to belittle and pick apart girlfriends, if a woman does this, it means she wants the guy for herself. So you think she is trashy and dumb? Well, you could have dated me but you just wanted to be friends.
There are two reasons why your opinion doesn't count and they're both on your chest.

6. No judgment making on how I treat any girl I might date, be it for six months, or six hours. You have thrown your log onto the fire of chauvinism in my heart, so you are partially to blame if an innocent girl gets burned.
There are two reasons why your opinion doesn't count and they're both on your chest.

7. No sparing of my feelings. It’s emasculating. Don't worry, you already broke my heart, go ahead and heap more crap on me. I’ll turn all embarrassment and pain into bitterness and anger, and then occasionally let it all out in some meat headed act.
Fee-lings? What is this foreign concept you speak of? Take you're lead from how the guys act on this one. Honesty is paramount.

8. No setting me up on pity dates. If you truly know of a woman who would be very happy with me and I with her, then we will talk.
Wait... if you know someone who wants sex you better hand over their number. And not complain about how they are treated -do we need to repeat the "two reasons" speech?

9. No being attracted to me. Impossible, I know, but you seem to have found a way, so stick with that. I’m going to be as attractive as possible in pursuit of other women, so if you are going to be seeing me in a bathing suit, you might want to make sure you are on the pill as the breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex. In fact, don’t even tell me I look good as that will torment me for days.
Realise that guys don't compliment each other on looks -that's pretty fucking gay. But truthful statements like "you're possibly the most funny person ever" are okay, if not accompanied by flirting (see above -punishable by instant sex). Having said that, more compliments, more! My ego is never satisfied! But that could just be me.

10. No confiding in me about boys. I am not your girl friend; I am your reluctant man friend who officially hates all men that you date now or in the future. Asking for hypothetical guy advice is okay; just don’t slam me with details about particular guys you are sleeping with. If this rule seems contrary to rule 7, just remember that I’m a beautifully complex being.
This stuff, particularly if we know the guy, makes us uncomfortable and we're probably going to have to punish you for this by making bad calls. Hypothetical is hypothetically ok.

11. No asking for man favors such as furniture moving, yard work, or car trouble help. I don't like to waste displays of extreme masculinity on women who have decided not to sleep with me. In a pinch you can bribe me to do man chores with beer. Please hand me the case as a gift versus doling them out one at a time from your fridge. That keeps it strictly business.
"Sex and beer, sex and beer are the two things we hold dear!" sings Pat McSomething-or-other in some song of his. Man-work requires reward with either one of these.

12. Try to avoid incidental contact. I can't outlaw this since there are times when the brush of a leg or a sleeve is purely accidental, but try to be careful. You can take steps to not put your arm in mine while walking or lay against me on a couch or other things like that. Those things would lead me to think you want me to sex you.
If both parties are okay with contact and know it means nothing then its fine. Otherwise, instant sex.

13. No asking for massages or neck rubs, that’s a lot of foreplay to waste on someone who doesn't want the main event. Besides, shouldn’t your boyfriend give you massages? Why aren’t we dating again?
We've already kind of established this with the blowjob rule. Sex, beer or reciprocation. There's no such thing as a free lunch, or a massage.

14. No dating any guy who treats you bad or neglects you in any way, that’s just a slap in my face. I fucking adore you.
If you choose to date someone, don't complain to us about them. Chances are, we don't care. You got yourself into the situation.

15. No judgments on any of my behavior. It would lead me to think you care a little too much about my well being. So I don't want to hear any, "Stop smoking", or "Don't drink so much," or "Don't use women." Of course if I am truly being an asshole in some situation, feel free to clue me in, that’s what friends do.
There are two reasons...

16. You have to let me know immediately if you want to be more than friends. I’m only doing this to respect your wishes. If you ever want more, rest assured that I do too. At any moment we can tear these guidelines up and spend 24 hours doing every imaginable sexy act.
When a guy is truly friends with a girl, he doesn't see them as a sexual being at all (this is assuming the above rules have been followed). Changing this will take a big effort, like getting your boobies out and smooshing them in his face. That should get the point across...

Actually, now reading through the revised rules I've decided it's impossible to write such a list without sounding emo. This sucks as all I wanted to do was introduce the idea of instant sex as a punishment...

In conclusion, something.

A vote for al or the Tequila

I fear that if we allow this current bout of hostility directed by al towards tequila to continue our very safety may be in danger. Scurvy is a very real menace that may strike any of us next year and tyson aside, this is very worrying. The major risk groups are

1 - The impoverished - students aren't exactly rolling in cash (bar kate, she's from auckland)
2 - Pirates - i like pirates. a lot. That puts me at risk.
4 - Alcoholics - aka scarfies
3 - the elderly - and lets be truthful, 3rd year is pretty old.

While even eating a cup of potatoes can ensure you recieve the 5mg of vit c needed to ward off scurvy this is obviously not possible with amy's bizarre and frankly ludicris dietry naunces, i feel we shall surely fall prey to terror of scurvy.
as such i can see one cure - tequila shots and their obligatory lime/lemon wedges.

sorry al but for the good of us all your going to have to take a hard pill

Tequila

This should be illegal. My head hurts.

Ghost Riding

Apparently this is what all the cool kids are doing. So I tried it. Basically, while your car is still moving you get out and dance on the bonnet. This is me trying to dance on the bonnet of my car -the car that I bought because James told me too. Unfortunately someone stole this car that I actually bought from me while I was ghost riding -as you will seee in the video.



Therefore, someone else now needs to get a car for the flat. James?

hey this is the shit

i luv borat, he is very nice

vroom vroom

Exams are finally over! Beer has never tasted so good.
what i really want to express though is an issue that is that i have now changed my stance on a pivotal issue that may have dire consequences on my personility. Namely i luv manuals. Arrest your gasps, for i am not saying automatics are shit but driving back from the airport, three years since you last used one incredibly hungover was one of the greatest trips ever- even with unintended traction failure while taking off outside the cook (lucky greg wont find bout that or me changing the radio to zm, the prospect of that rollin song by chamelion coming on was too tempting.)
p.s. this looks sweet, i want one. i wanna try seeing if it could do a tyson's hand and can of guiness protein smoothie
drivings awsome, i reckon a road trip is in order.

Tyson is a legend

Okay so I wouldn't normally say this, but today this is actually true. When two guys embark on a drinking session with Tyson and niether of them make it to their flights home in the morning, that's just awesome.

But then again, Tyson has been known to urinate on girlfriends in the past, so maybe he's not that awesome...

In other news, apparently during this drinking session Clifford got slipped the didge by a pre-op transvestite prostitute.

Also, yay for the drinking age staying at 18 -have a celebratory blackout.

Tyson is a slut

This is the second in my series of "Tyson is a..." posts. It may also be the last as I can not think of any more things that Tyson is off the top of my head.

Earlier this year I believe it was Gabby that finally said what we'd all been thinking: "Tyson, you're a slut, aren't you?" This evidence for this accusation is self-evident, so it is evident that I do not need to make evident any evidence of the accused actions, evidently. The fact that I used so many derivatives of the word "evidence" surely proves that Tyson is in fact a slut.

However, I would like to shed a different light onto this issue in the hope the Tyson may in the future be less stigmatised for his slutiness. We may be missing some sort of cultural adjustment that he has failed to make since moving to New Zealand. Much in the way the token Indonesian kid at my primary school on his first day at the school took a piss in the gutter because he didn't no better (or maybe it was just that he didn't speak ANY english and couldn't find out where the toilets were... good times), perhaps some similar misunderstanding is occuring with Tyson. I evidence the following statistic from a recent study:
One in ten Canadians wants polygamy legalised and a further 10% don't know.
This shows that one in five Canadians has polygamist sympathies.
Now lets take a look at the five Canadians that I know personally:
1. Tyson
2. Laura
3. Victoria
4. George Bush
5. That ex-girlfriend of mine Devon (or was it Devan? I probably should know that...)
The only one of the above that I could suspect to have polygamist sympathies is Tyson -everything fits. He even comes from the right area (apparently all the polygamists hang out in B.C. -see the previous link).

In conclusion, Tyson is not so much a slut, maybe more of a polygamist. Let's change the attitude, guys. Be less judgemental.

Study is so friggin boring

This is quite possibly the best song ever, now in saying that im not calling tenacious D a liar, his song was the greatest song in the world, just times change and its been unsurped. Reminds me of the time al said i'm the greatest al in the world so i decided to call myself al. That may not of happened but it could of.
luv #1 al

Dunedin Fashion

Get with the latest Dunedin fashion. You've all seen those I *heart* New York T-shirts and the more risque I *airplane* New York shirts, but now you can be ahead of a craze that is sweeping the developed world.

Print off this image and make a stencil now!



Makes an ideal Christmas present for friends and family. Even if you don't know Al Dunne, now you can pretend you do!