why wellington benders are bad - an equation

wellington bender = 2x jerry collins ($30) + a matterhorn long island ice tea ($100)+ flaming lambourgini ($16) + dress codes(grrr dress codes) = one huuugely painful morning after bank balance induced hangover even though you only got tipsy

dunedin bender = one ranfurly 20 pack ($20) + a smattering of $3 drinks + a couple of chargers (from tim's candy stash) = 2 huge drunk as fuck nights on the change in your wallet ....... and almost sex by proxy, JUST BY PROXY MAN!!!

thus i have shown mathmatically without a doubt wellington sucks for benders. And Al is right, vic students are girly, any place it's normal to end the night drinking coffee in havana, fidels or any place where che's image is used as a marketing tool is just not scarf. it's anti scarf. and benders are the bread n butter of scarfdom, the beloved institution of crate days, hermits and blackouts are a south island thing, northerners, like aucklanders, like it in the batty.

Best cocktail ever!!!

Jellied cube of gin and tonic on crisp lime slice

This is good, really good. -and the meanest cocktail to pull out

1 frozen lime - fuck this bit, i just cut it with a knife
2 oz. simple syrup - i guessed they meant sugar syrup
1 1⁄4 tsp. citric acid
1⁄4 tsp. bicarbonate of soda
1⁄4 tsp. confectioner's sugar
1 1⁄2 sheets of sheet gelatin - i used agar powder
1 oz. gin
2 oz. tonic water
Freeze lime and cut into chips with deli slicer. Coat slices in simple syrup and 1 tsp. citric acid; bake at 150 degrees until crisp. Mix bicarbonate of soda, sugar, and remaining citric acid. Soften sheet gelatin in cold water for two minutes. Warm gin and add gelatin. Pour into a shallow baking pan lined with plastic wrap, add tonic, and refrigerate for two hours. Cut into 1⁄2-inch cubes. Put cube onto lime chip, sprinkle on sugar-soda-acid mixture , serve.

it feels really weird and tastes fizzy cause of the powder, amazingly good.
two other ones i tried from from Heston Bulmenthal were caviar on white chocolate, which was good but a freakin waste of money and stawberry with coriander. Mean.

Tyson and i lay down sum Haiku's

Al is a poo head
wat he gonna do bout it
i guess just smell bad

no haiku's rite now
i have to work james, my friend
fuk off i said no

Tyson is a slut
he wants to have poo poo sex
he smells bad also

amy is a girl
no shit man, she has boobies
hellen has nice boobs

kate is great at stuff
like this and that and things too
i hope she can cook

when al gets laid next
we will hold a big party
the theme - als not gay

unless it's a guy
that he brings home to sleep with
that would be creepy

wen tyson gets laid
it wont be as exciting
cuz he has a girl

the theme could be though
"tyson gets it once a month"
and he favours bum

it wont work for kate
cuz she gets it, draught on tap
just like gardies drop

for amy, a theme?
i can see only one choice
"amy is a slut"

james is the token
he is not white but dark brown
but plz dont lynch him

the theme for his bash
he disputes with dull tyson
"james likes dogfart sluts"

is not a good theme
for james has never scored blonde
except gutter girl

Pirates and Whores

Ahoy Maties,

I was disappointed to learn that the flat warming I was most looking forward to this year is not happening. However the responsibility to host this party (themed pirates and whores) has been passed on to me. And what better flat to have it at than The Black Pearl (well thats if that name gets voted in and with other contenders such as (dare I say it) 'Amy is a slut' it is not certain). Hence I am warning you now so that you can get your costumes ready. Ninjas beware.

So I was in bed the other night thinking about this party and it hit me. Seems its a guy based flat why not have Pirates playing in the background - Im sure the guys (not you James as you will probably object to this as theres no Georges clad in football attire) will appreciate it. So after swearing to take photographic evidence of the night I am now left with setting a date and deciding on my costume.

P.s Tyson you should go as a whore - it will suit you better (love you)